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Palmer Hasty
LightBookproductions Staff Reporter

It was disclosed today there were rumors several years ago that the Professional Golf Association once considered applying the “Fairness Doctrine” to the professional tour. 

When it appeared that Tiger Woods might win every tournament remaining on the tour for the next five years, as well as surpassing Jack Nicklaus’ all time record of 18 majors, in what some observers predicted could be an eternal winning streak for the young master, it was rumored that some tour officials (who requested anonymity) as well as some players (who also requested anonymity) discussed the pros and cons of applying the “Fairness Doctrine” to tournament play.

Golf legend Arnold Palmer, who, like Nicklaus, is known for his fierce competitive spirit, said in a phone interview that he had never heard of the rumors.  After saying that a “Fairness Doctrine” would “definitely ruin the sport,” Palmer said, “Hell, Tiger's already passed me in majors.  If they are seriously considering a Fairness Doctrine now, then I think that’s unfair, don't you?  They should have implemented a rule like that before, not after, he passed my record.”

The rumors were that Mr. Woods would have to play at least five tournaments a year, including two majors, with one hand tied behind his back, which was thought at that time to be enough to level the playing field.  Apparently these rumors were further fueled after some spectators had seen Woods practicing his putts with only his right hand before a major tournament.  

In an interview, Woods did say he thought it was a compliment, and he appreciated that, but added he thought the rumor, if it ever really existed, was just a joke among golfers because a Fairness Doctrine would be just as stupid for the PGA tour as the Fairness Doctrine the liberal Democrats in Congress want to impose on the media.

When asked about the rumors surrounding his putting with one hand, Woods laughed and said, “No, of course not, I wasn’t preparing for a new rule change.  I do that before every tournament now; it just helps me control alignment and speed.”

Woods looked both amused and puzzled as he tried to walk away from the press, then turned and said, “I guess you are right though, if they made me play with one hand tied behind my back, then I would have had no choice would I?  I mean, if I was going to have to play with one hand, then it wouldn’t make any sense to practice a normal two-handed putt would it?”

It was also rumored that the short game magician Phil Mickelson, who was considered at one time to be the best golfer on the tour not to have won a major, might be forced to play right-handed under the rules of the controversial doctrine after Mickelson won his second Masters.

When asked what he thought of a “Fairness Doctrine” on the PGA Tour, suddenly, a half-smile crossed Mickelson’s face as he pushed his golf cap back to scratch his head, which, according to the media, means he’s about the say something philosophical. 

After pointing out that it was unbelievable that someone would take such a rumor seriously, Mickelson said: “I think that if someone is seriously considering implementing a fairness doctrine for the tour, why do it halfway?  Instead of making Tiger play with just one hand, why not go all the way," he laughed again, adding, “I have a better idea, why don't they make make Tiger play with one hand tied behind his back, and make him carry his own clubs."